Coping With “Future Memories” Lost When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned
Life has a funny way of working out.
And, by “funny,” I mean it’s also sometimes harsh and cruel.
In relationships and circumstances, we often have a movie reel in our mind of how things will turn out in the years to come.
But in the case of sudden change, we are forced to let go of this vision as a possibility.
Divorce. Death of a loved one. Job loss. Natural disaster. All of these events force us to deal with a large amount of front-facing trauma. As a result, often these “future memory” reels, that we’ve already lived in our heads, hit us later on unexpectedly.
In our mind, we’ve had the house, the life, the pets, and the kids. We’ve gone on vacations, had holidays, and grown old together. We’ve excelled at the job and earned accolades galore.
Only to be faced with a new reality of different. And we wonder…does anyone else understand? How can we move on? Will we ever have that again…or for the first time?
In this episode, we de-stigmatize the mourning of this loss, discussing how to allow ourselves to honor future memories lost, then heal, learn, and grow from them.
These futures that will now never occur as we imagined them are still a part of us. They show us bits and pieces of who we are, what we want, and what we’ve been through. If we choose to use them as a guiding light, we can more fluidly flow into the new life we are now meant to live.
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